It may be that your life is going reasonably well, you have a satisfying job, a good relationship and good friends. But you feel that something is missing or simply that life could be even better.

Perhaps you want to extend yourself, increase your responsibilities at work, build or deepen your relationship, or there is some other aspect of your life that you would like to be different or more satisfying. But you are not sure where to start or how.

It may be that despite having what you thought you wanted, there is a nagging sense that there is more to you than this, that you are working or living below your potential, which has not been realised.

There may be something you have always wanted to do, and time is passing and you have not pursued it. You want to understand what if anything is in the way of your doing so, and you want some help to get your life back on track, heading in the direction you have always wanted.

1. Listen to yourself.
Apart from the attitude with which you treat yourself, this is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You need to learn to listen to yourself, to your own inner yes and no, which will come with often a quite particular physical response that you may have stopped listening to long ago and no longer recognise. Start learning to recognise that feeling by beginning with what you know you want in small things, and start experimenting making decisions on what feels right to you. The only way to start trusting yourself is to start listening to yourself.

2. What is one thing you could do right now?
What is the one thing you could do right now that would have the greatest possible impact on feeling good about yourself and your life? Keep asking yourself this question until you know what it is. Then do it. Every day.

3. Work with Resistance.
The resistance you feel to doing any of these things, to doing any of the exercises, to doing the things you know would change your life, is an ancient survival mechanism, trying to keep you safe from perceived harm. This is how your brain works. You can manage this by taking small, regular steps, which lowers both anxiety and resistance. Even smaller steps. Even very small steps still lead to change.

Wishcraft. Barbara Sher. Despite its somewhat deceptive title a very down to earth practical book to help you work out what you want and how to get there. Who would you have been if you grew up in an environment that nurtured your unique genius? This exploration in the first part of the book is followed by a concrete, practical, down to brass tacks system for planning and having the life you want.
I Could Do Anything if I Only Knew What it Was. By Barbara Sher. A look at all the specific and different ways a person’s psyche resists change and how to develop your potential, with practical ideas for how to work with your specific brand of resistance/fear.
What Colour is Your Parachute. By Richard Bolles. Another practical classic, looking at what makes you tick, what specifically would give you career satisfaction and how to go about getting the career you want.
Simplify Structure Succeed. By Shannah Kennedy. How to understand your values and build a life that reflects your values.
Please also see the books listed under Life Changes.

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