Helping you build an intentional life

Breathe

Resources and Links

I have chosen a few important links and books as a starting point for each issue. Some books were originally published some time ago, but I have started with them simply because they are classics and nothing has replaced them. I will continue to add more up to date books and sites that I think you will find of value.

General Crisis and Helplines (NZ)

Lifeline – 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Healthline – 0800 611 116
Samaritans – 0800 726 666 (for callers from the Lower North Island, Christchurch and West Coast) or 0800 211 211 or (04) 473 9739 for callers from all other regions.
Chinese Lifeline – 0800 888 880 (for people who speak Mandarin or Cantonese)
You will find many similar helpline services in different countries.

For Specific Issues (NZ)

Alcohol and Drug Helpline – 0800 787 797
Alcoholics Anonymous - 0800 229 6757
Are You OK – 0800 456 450 family violence helpline
Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 (to talk to a trained counsellor)
Gambling Helpline – 0800 654 655
OUTLine NZ – 0800 688 5463 (OUTLINE) sexuality and gender identity helpline
Parent Help – 0800 568 856
Rape Crisis – 0800 883 300 (for support after rape or sexual assault)
Shakti Crisis Line – 0800 742 584 (for migrant or refugee women living with family violence
Shine – 0508 744 633 confidential domestic abuse helpline
Vagus Line – 0800 56 76 666 (Mon, Wed, Fri 12 noon – 2pm). Promote family harmony among Chinese, enhance parenting skills, de crease conflict among family members (couple, parent-child, in-laws) and stop family violence.
Women's Refuge Crisisline – 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE) (for women living with violence, or in fear, in their relationship or family)
Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz

If you are not in crisis, but feel you would like some more information, you can also access information on symptoms and resources on the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand website.

Anxiety

The Reality Slap. By Russ Harris. Learn how to cope effectively when life hurts or causes anxiety. You can also download an MP3[link] of the exercises in the book, very useful for developing self-compassion and learning to address anxiety.
The Happiness Trap. By Russ Harris. The book covers in detail how to use mindfulness skills, values, and effective action to enhance health, vitality, and life satisfaction. Based on ACT therapy concepts.
Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. By John Kabat-Zinn, M.D. The heart of the book is based on Kabat-Zinn’s renowned mindfulness-based stress reduction program at the University at Massachusetts Medical Center. Anything by this author is worth reading. A deep understanding of the causes of anxiety and depression.
Also WATCH video clip of Dr. Kabat-Zinn.
Your Inner Child of the Past. By Hugh Missildine. How patterns of responding can be established in childhood, and how to support yourself to change them.
The Mindful Way through Anxiety: Break Free from Chronic Worry and Reclaim Your Life. by Susan M Orsillo, Elizabeth Roemer, with forward by Zindel V. Segal. A difficult read, especially for someone suffering from anxiety, but some good ideas.

Creativity Processes including blocks

The Artist’s Development Kit. A great tool for thinking about and planning your development as any kind of artist/creative.
The Creative Whack Pack. Well-known, well-utilised, “it will "whack" you out of habitual thought patterns and allow you to look at what you're doing in a fresh way.” This also comes as an app for your mobile phone.
Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery. By Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. The author/psychologist uses his now well-known notion of ‘flow’ (fully immersed in a feeling of energised focus) to explore the creative process through interviews with creatives in many fields from scientists to artists. Another classic.
The Creative Habit: Learn It And Use It For Life. By Twyla Tharp. According to Twyla Tharp, creativity is something that must be worked at but something that is within reach for all of us. Tharp teaches how to cultivate the habit of creativity, using more than 30 simple exercises.
The Artist’s Way. By Julia Cameron. A 12 chapter, 12 week programme to recover from creative blocks and all that stands in the way of you developing your talents, whatever they may be.
Manage your Day-to-Day: Build your routine, Find your focus and Sharpen your creative mind. Edited by Jocelyn K. Glei. A series of short, practical essays by creatives and consultants on creativity on how to manage the day to day practicalities of a creative life.

Depression

A mindful way through Depression: Freeing Youself from Chronic Unhappiness.
[link] (Including Mindfulness CD). By Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn. Jon Kabat Zin is one the foremost experts in his field, and this is a useful, accessible discussion of depression and how to address it through mindfulness and increased awareness to interrupt the spiral of self doubt and negative thinking, rather than trying to think yourself out of it.
Depression: The way out of your prison. By Dorothy Rowe. Another expert in her field, and a classic and helpful book for understanding depression through a psychodynamic approach.
The Happiness Trap: How to stop struggling and start living. By Russ Harris. The book covers in detail how to use mindfulness skills, values, and effective action to enhance health, vitality, and life satisfaction.
Get better – The Journal. The Journal online help service coached by ex All-Black John Kirwan. The Journal teaches people techniques they can easily use in everyday life to help manage their own depression.

Grief & loss

Good Grief. By Granger E. Westburg. Small, very straightforward book on the basic stages of grief.
On Grief and Grieving. By Elisabeth Kubler Ross. World-renowned expert talks about grief and grieving and the stages of grief, full of personal anecdotes and warmth and understanding.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross Foundation. With resources and links in particular regarding the loss of a loved one.

Life changes

Simplify Structure Succeed. By Shannah Kennedy. Assessing your values and what's important to you, and how to shape a life that reflects those values. Any time of change is a time to reassess your life's direction.The author rebuilt her own life 'brick by brick' after suffering from chronic fatigue and now works with elite athletes, business people etc. Lots of insights about how to increase strength and resilience through focus and self-care.
It's only too late if you don't start now : how to create your second life at any age. By Barbara Sher. Looking at the freedom to make different choices after 40 years old.
Full Catastrophe Living. By Jon Kabat-Zin. Another book looking at the full catastrophe that a full life is, and how to build resilience and cope with stress and change.

Personal growth, Realising Your Potential

Wishcraft. Barbara Sher. Despite its somewhat deceptive title a very down to earth practical book to help you work out what you want and how to get there. Who would you have been if you grew up in an environment that nurtured your unique genius? This exploration in the first part of the book is followed by a concrete, practical, down to brass tacks system for planning and having the life you want.
I Could Do Anything if I Only Knew What it Was. By Barbara Sher. A look at all the specific and different ways a person’s psyche resists change and how to develop your potential, with practical ideas for how to work with your specific brand of resistance/fear.
What Colour is Your Parachute. By Richard Bolles. Another practical classic, looking at what makes you tick, what specifically would give you career satisfaction and how to go about getting the career you want.
Simplify Structure Succeed. By Shannah Kennedy. How to understand your values and build a life that reflects your values.
Please also see the books listed under Life Changes

Relationship issues

Self Esteem and a sense of Low Self worth

Talking to Yourself: The Language of Self Support. Pamela Butler. If you are tired of hearing that you should talk to yourself differently but don’t know how, this is another excellent book that helps you challenge critical self-talk and replace it with encouraging self-support.
Healing the Shame that Binds you. John Bradshaw. Excellent book, one of the first to explore the damaging nature of shame in childhood and how to heal from it.
Celebrate Yourself. By Dorothy Corkille Briggs. An excellent book looking at how to develop healthy self esteem through understanding how your adaptive thinking is hurting you and maintaining your low self esteem and impacting on your ability to form positive relationships with others. Uses very accessible idea of transactional analysis and ideas of self-parenting.
The Reality Slap. By Russ Harris. Learn how to cope effectively when life hurts or causes anxiety. You can also download an MP3[link] of the exercises in the book, very useful for developing self-compassion and learning to address anxiety.

Stress

Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. By John Kabat-Zinn, M.D. The heart of the book is based on Kabat-Zinn’s renowned mindfulness-based stress reduction program at the University at Massachusetts Medical Center.
Note: Any books by this person looking at mindfulness, offering mindfulness meditations and ways of understanding mindfulness are useful.
Spark. By John Ratey. This book presents new research on the the vital link between brain health and physical movement. Will increase your understanding of how and why regular exercise improves your concentration, mood and resilience to stress.
The Reality Slap. By Russ Harris. Learn how to cope effectively when life hurts or causes anxiety. You can also download an MP3[link] of the exercises in the book, very useful for developing self-compassion and learning to address anxiety and lower stress levels.

Trauma, Abuse and Post traumatic Stress

Healing Trauma. By Dr. Peter Levine. Physician and trauma expert explains how trauma lives on in the body and some ways of understanding this with many straightforward exercises to aid recovery.
The body keeps the score. By Bessel van der Kolk. The second half of the book is an easier read and takes a practical look at a rounded recovery that includes but is not limited to therapy. The first half of the book looks at the physiological impact of trauma: what happens to bodies when a person is traumatised and the physical reactions as disconnected memories.
Trauma and the Body. By Pat Ogden. An exploration of the impact on the body of trauma and the constant reaction of the body to triggers. This understanding is the basis of recovery.
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy. By Pat Ogden and Dr Janina Fisher. A book written for clients and their therapists. The impact of trauma lives on in the responses of the body, and this type of very effective therapy, deals with the ongoing impact of trauma in daily felt experience and how to work towards recovery and relief.
Trauma and Recovery. By Judith Herman. A classic and essential book that looks at the roots of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Stages of Recovery. Written more for therapists, survivors may find it of use also.

Workplace bullying & Other Workplace Issues

The Bully at Work. By G Namie and R Namie. Straightforward, comprehensive easy-to-follow book covering many aspects of being bullied at work and what you can do about it. .
Stalking the Soul. By Marie-France Hirigoyen. Excellent book about the impact of emotional abuse both in the home and at work, and what you can do about it.
Why is it always about you. By Sandy Hotchkiss. An exploration for the layperson of narcissistic personalities, the type of charismatic person who can be found to be a serial bully in the workplace. Includes strategies for protecting yourself from such people in the workplace.
Simplify Structure Succeed. By Shannah Kennedy. Assessing your values and what's important to you, and how to shape a life that reflects those values. Any time of change is a time to reassess your life's direction.The author rebuilt her own life 'brick by brick' after suffering from chronic fatigue and now works with elite athletes, business people etc. Lots of insights about how to increase strength and resilience through focus and self-care.
Manage your Day-to-Day: Build your routine, Find your focus and Sharpen your creative mind. Edited by Jocelyn K. Glei. A series of short, practical essays by creatives and consultants on creativity on how to manage the day to day practicalities of a creative life.
Flow the psychology of optimal experience. By Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Audio CD. Great summary of some of his main ideas and what enables people to work in flow.
I Could Do Anything if I Only Knew What it Was. By Barbara Sher. A look at all the specific and different ways a person’s psyche resists change and how to develop your potential, with practical ideas for how to work with your specific brand of resistance/fear.